One obstacle every individual will face during their lifetime is death. No matter the size or type of grief someone is forced to cope with, the struggle is understood unanimously. It could be the loss of a close relative or loved one, mentor, advisor, friend or even a pet. Every form of guilt, although sometimes excruciating, can be dealt with in a healthy manner and eased by remembering a few of these tips.
Own your pain: Often an individual may act out in harmful ways or completely disassociate from the loss all together. Trying to ignore emotional pain or “mental blocking” can be toxic and produce a lifetime of mental and emotional issues. Owning the grief that floods one’s mind is crucial in the road to recovery after suffering a loss. Regularly acknowledging any pain felt will allow your body the release it needs, as often as it needs, promoting emotional growth and aiding healing time.
No two grievers are alike: Despite the similarities between any two victims of grief, no two people grieve in the exact same way. It is important to understand what your mentality may need in order to cope during this time and to resist comparing your experience to that of another. While someone else may need to be surrounded by people in the wake of a loss, you may find yourself needing to be isolated in order to properly process information and emotions. Both alternatives are completely normal. Never feel ashamed by reacting the way you do but consider seeking professional assistance if your tendencies typically harm or hurt yourself or others.
Be patient and kind with yourself: It is too common that a victim of grief reprimands themselves for being upset, behaving in an unspecified manner, and for dealing with grief over what may seem like an eternity. It goes without saying that there is no rule book for the proper way to grieve. There is no timeline reference of when certain milestones of grieving should be met, and no expectations adhere to. Give yourself all the time you need to process your loss properly, find closure and begin to situate your life following a great loss. But most importantly, do not add more weight to the already heavy burden death brings by adding personal guilt or resentment into the mix.
While trudging through the dark valleys of grief, above all else remember that you are never alone in your suffering. The loss of one life can greatly affect an infinite amount of people. Consider reaching out to family and friends that understand what you are dealing with and offer support during your time of need.
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